CHRISTMAS EVE REFLECTIONS

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Christmas Eve, 2013

It is 9;30, and I’m sitting in our living room, surrounded by the warmth of Patience’s Christmas décor, our lovely tree, and the sound of Christmas music coming from my computer.  The room is still, and there is nothing than can add to the elegance and solitude of the moment.  I am lost in the memories of Christmas Eves past, my parents, my children, and the wonderful sadness tit all bring to me

But there is more.  The one thought that intrudes on all of this is how fortunate I am to be where I am, and to have all that I have.  I am a wealthy man.  I am healthy.  I have a loving wife and family. I have caring friends,  I have a warm and comfortable home.  I have food to eat.  I have meaningful work.  And I have hope and purpose.  What more can anyone ask for?   More things?  A bigger house?  More social statue?  I don’t think so. 

And I ask myself, why?  Why me?  What did I do to deserve this life of mine?  I did not get to choose my parents, or the culture in which I was reared.  I did not get to choose my aptitudes, my personality, and whatever gifts and talents I may have.  I had no major obstacles to overcome in my life.  I simply did what seemed to be the thing to do  I worked hard, but no harder than many others.  There is now way that I can take credit for my life, because I was never faced with a choice to do or be other than what I am.  Even when it came to the difficult choice between medicine and art, I felt I was only following what was intended for me.

There are many who have more than I do, and probably even more who have much less.  It is my unwavering conviction that with few exceptions, their fates were predetermined by circumstances – parents, families, genes, and fate.  It is too easy to take more credit than is deserved for our successes, and to blame the less fortunate for their misfortunes.   

CHRISTMAS EVE

It has been 20 years since I spent Christmas Eve with my parents and children.  My mom died 20 years ago this month, and my dad 3 years later, in the fall of the year.  For the first 53 years of my life, with one exception, I spent every Christmas Eve with my parents, a tradition that survived all the twists and turns in my life, until their deaths.

Beforel I married, this festive affair was spent with aunts, uncles, cousins and friends; later it was with my family, as it grew and evolved, surviving a divorce, a new family, and emerging adult children.  Year after year, it was arguably the most consistent event in my life.

Like so many Italian-American families, we celebrated the night before Christmas with the incomparable 7 fish dinner, something my father, in spite of his anti-religion views, thoroughly embraced and enjoyed.  As for me, I could usually find 3 or 4 dishes on the table that I liked…especially the pasta with anchovies or clams.  The shrimp was always good, and the deep fried smelts were OK.  The hardest to take was the Bacala…salted Cod that was served in a variety of ways.           

A few years ago my wonderful wife worked very hard to recreate that 7 fish menu for a Christmas Eve dinner with friends here in Paducah.  I thought she did a great job, but I can understand why, after spending all day in a kitchen full of smelly fish she vowed “never again”.  I still consider that an extreme act of love.

Our Christmas Eves are quiet now; the 7 fish diner has been replaced by linguine with anchovies, and if I remember to buy them, a shrimp cocktail.  The children now have their own families, and are busy transitioning into new traditions, which is as it should be.  I enjoy sitting in our living room with a glass of wine, the lights low, and Christmas music in the background, fondly remembering what was, and looking forward to what will be.  Christmas Eve has become a time when I am most intensely aware of how blessed my life has been.

12-24…7 FISHES MINUS 5, A CHRISTMAS EVE TRADITION

There was no way I was going to do the seven fishes tonight. I took the easy way out and opted for a shrimp cocktail appetizer followed by linguine with an anchovy sauce.

Our dear friend Julie joined us for dinner, and in all of my excitement I forgot to take photos. My bad.

INGREDIENTS:

Linguine
Olive oil
Garlic and shallots
6 Anchovy fillets coarsely chopped
Italian parsley, finely chopped
Parmigiano reggiano cheese

PROCESS:

Heat the olive oil and add the garlic, shallots, and anchovies and cook while waiting for the pasta to be finished.

Add the pasta to the pan, toss in the parsley, and mix well. Add some of the pasta water if needed, Serve with grated parmigiano cheese.

COMMENTS:

Memories of Christmas Eves spent with my parents descend upon me every year at this time, memories which are always welcomed… Smelts, Bacala, Calamari, and more. My enjoyment of the fish never matched my father’s, but with each passing year I seem to remember them tasting better and better.

I don’t try to reproduce those Christmas Eves; this simple dinner with Patience and Julie is more than enough for me, and it’s memory will stand up to the best of them.

Happy Birthday mom, and Merry Christmas to all.