WE WERE THREE

mom, dad, and me

Looking for a reason to remain here in my study, cooled by the ceiling fan, I began going back over old journal entries and found this entry from a year ago.

THE PAST IS ALWAYS WITH US, AND THE FUTURE IS NOT FAR BEHIND

Good grief! Who knew that turning 70 would provide so many issues to deal with (and write about). I will be lucky if I can get all the emotional and psychological stuff dealt with before I reach 80.

I have 9 months left in which to milk this 70th birthday. No one gives a shit about 71!

I’m 70 years old and rarely does a day go by that I don’t think about my mother and father. Oh how I would love to go back into time and reclaim those years that I took for granted. With the wisdom that accompanies retrospection I realize how precious and special they were. But of course that is what the years bring to us, the wisdom to appreciate that which is has past, family, friends, community, and perhaps greatest of all, freedom from responsibility. My childhood was wonderful and glorious because my parents carried the burden of responsibilities for me, for themselves, my grandfather, and the farm. I realize now, in the latter years of my life, that for them, the years were tough and stressful, and that they protected me from their almost daily struggles.

I cannot help but feel some degree of guilt for not realizing this sooner, but mostly I feel gratitude, gratitude to them for being the parents that they were and giving to me all that they did. I imagine they knew that my turn to shoulder responsibility would come soon enough.


Graduation day at Jefferson Medical College