TIME AT WORK

Yesterday I described my delightful encounter with Sam, my first college roommate, at our 50th class reunion. I must admit to being surprised at the genuine affection that encounter engendered for someone I had not seen for over 50 years, especially since we were not close friends during our college days. I’ve been trying to understand this phenomenon ever since, and have decided that it represents one way in which time manifests itself.

Time has the effect of focusing our attention on the essential rather than the non-essential. Looking backwards into our lives the unimportant and frivolous, seem to fall away, allowing us to see or remember what we may have failed to see or have forgotten. At 72, I have much more respect and admiration for some of the very traits that I tended to avoid or dismiss at 19. My first experience with this phenomenon occurred with my father. As a young man he had habits and ideas that I could not tolerate, but later in our lifetimes, and even more so after his death, they simply disappeared from my mind. (I think it was Mark Twain who said, “when I was 17 I thought my father was really stupid, and at 21 I was amazed how much he learned in 4 years!”

In Sam’s case we share a common past and have both experienced the joys and difficulties of medical school and post-graduate training so I can appreciate the commitment he has made to the profession. Coming from my own-checkered career I am impressed with his achievements and the fact that he is still practicing medicine full time.

Tonight at dinner I will raise my glass of wine in a quiet toast to Sam.


Dad, when he didn't know so much (I thought.)


Dad with all of his acquired wisdom.

A FIFTIETH REUNION

Last week I attended my 50th college class reunion.



SAM

I saw him walking with his wife about 30 yards away, making their way to the registration tent. I couldn’t make out the faces but knew in an instant that it was my old roommate. Sam is about 6 feet tall, and his gait and posture are distinct enough for me to recognize them after 50 years. He holds himself very erect, with his head high, but not too high, and his gait is measured but sure, with arms held quietly by his side. As soon as he recognized me a shy smile came to his face, which radiates quiet authority and competence rendered totally disarming by a veil of shyness.

Sam and I shared a room with 2 other men in our sophomore year at college. We were both pre-med students and although we went our different ways socially we shared a lot of the same classes. While I was rather outgoing, Sam was quiet and reserved. Sam was also brilliant; I don’t know this for a fact but would venture to say that he never got anything less than an A in anything he did.

We had no contact after graduation even though we both went to medical schools in Philadelphia (as did another of our roommates from that school year.) I knew he specialized in cardiology but did not know he has been practicing in the Boston area for all of these years.

I don’t know if was our shared profession, or the fact that he was one of the first of my associates at college (I transferred to LVC in my sophomore year), but I was absolutely delighted to see him after all these years. I enjoyed meeting his wife and hearing about his family. I know he must be an outstanding cardiologist, and I admire and respect his accomplishments. I could not help thinking…I wish I had made an effort to stay in touch with him…we may not have become “buddies”, but I think I would have enjoyed the relationship.

Sam made the reunion a worthwhile experience for me.


My experience with Sam has set off a cascade of thoughts about time and relationships that I hope to explore in future posts.