Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Wired for sound

OK, it’s time to lighten up. The last two posts have been pretty heavy. In case readers have not caught on yet, my posts mirror the way in which I live my life, moving between things in what appears to be a random fashion. A visit to my studio would quickly confirm this.

As many of you know, I live with my lovely wife Patience and nine dogs, all of which have to be walked everyday (the dogs that is). I am currently responsible for walking two of them, but for a while I was walking 3 at a time, and when Patience is out of town I walk all of them. Because they tend to go bonkers when they see critters, a.k.a., cats and squirrels, both of which are in abundance in Lowertown, we limit the number on any walk to 3.

One day I wondered what it would sound like if I were wired for sound:

Who wants to go for a walk? Delia, Sam, and Charlie, ok.
Mamma, down! I’ll take you next. Down!! I won’t forget you.

Good boy Charlie, you’re a good dog. Maria, stop that!

Guys wait...I gotta get some baggies...stop pulling!

Be a good girl Delia...good boy Charlie.

Delia don’t pull! Good girl.

Stop it Sam...Delia be good...Sam drop that...OUT SAM...DON’T EAT THAT!
Delia Don’t! That’s better...just walk. Good boy Charlie.

Good girl Delia...Sam don’t step in the poop...Dammit Sam. Come on...let’s go, just walk. No Delia!

It’s just a bird...good girl...you guys are good dogs.

DELIA, NO! STOP IT!!! Quiet dogs...gooood dogs...just keep walking. Good boy Charlie.

%@#@!^#@! I can’t believe I’m picking up dog poop in front of all these people.

Be a good dog Sam...we’ll be home soon. Good boy. No Delia...keep walking.
Stop that! STOP PULLING!!! NO...DON’T EAT THE WORM! Charlie keep walking or I’ll step on you.

Delia stop it...stop pulling...I know you know exactly what you’re doing. Sam don’t. No peeing on bushes!
You guys....no, it’s just a bird...keep walking. Quiet dogs...good guys.

DAMMIT DEHLIA...STOP THAT!!! No Sam, you can’t eat that. Just wait. Good boy. Delia!

OK, that’s better...good dogs...you’re all good dogs. Yes Delia...you’re a good dog. You too Sam...I know...I love you too.”


Aynex Mercado said...

I think Patience behaves pretty well when you walk her.

V said...

What!! Only three at a time.. Good dog Bill.