Sunday, January 30, 2011


Oil pastel on clay print

I enjoy reading magazines featuring a wide range of accomplished fine art (Southwest Art, the Art Collector, American Realism) and seeing how my own work stands up to it. With an occasional exception, I am confronted with a significant gap in levels of technique and overall excellence. It is not that I see my work as bad, but that the other work is so much better. This never bothered or discouraged me, but only served to show me what I had to do to improve and grow as an artist; it encouraged and inspired me to dream of what I could accomplish...until recently.

It occurred gradually over the past 2-3 years. I faced and accepted the growing realization of my place in the world of art. I could be proud of what I’ve accomplished, but would never reach the level of the artists currently being featured in leading galleries here and abroad. I was OK with this, accepting that one of the perks of age is the ability to see the reality of our lives, unclouded by youthful exuberance. Last night that changed.

Lying in bed looking at some very good art in one of my magazines I was once more confronted with my “achievement gap” and remembered how I would dream of my future before reality inserted itself into my life. And as quickly as that I realized I must not abandon my dreams, even at this stage in my life. To do so only undermines what I have worked for all these years as well as faith and trust in myself. I might as well fold my tent and go quietly into the night. Then and there I vowed to reclaim my dreams, to hold fast the ideas of how I can fashion my future and my work, and to trust myself. Of course without the commitment and the will to pursue them, dreams remain nothing but hollow fantasies. That is the challenge that lies ahead.

Will these dreams become reality? I don’t know. But I do know that if I don’t believe in them, they will never happen.

Clay mono type

1 comment:

jeannette said...

A gentle reminder that the ones who had their whole life time to develop their art, were not a M.D. first!
(I came back to art after being a psychologist). That is where all your energy went to instead of the "building stage" making all the important contacts and possibly taking side roads that the others went through,
where you are going through now.
Never give up your dream!