Saturday, May 31, 2008



Love between a man and a woman is an illogical, irrational phenomenon that is far beyond my ability to describe or explain. I would strongly recommend the seventh letter in Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet. (I recommend that you read all of those letters.) Having said this let me off er just a few observations on the subject.

Love is hard work. Falling in love can be quite easy; it is maintaining that love that demands our time and energies. Don’t expect it just to happen; people can change in significant ways over the years, and if left unattended, love can be victimized by these changes.

Love should be gracious and spacious, allowing ample room for individual growth. One of the most important responsibilities in a loving relationship is to enable one another to become the person they are intended to be. Love exists for us to serve others, not for us to be served.

This is not without some risk. One partner may out grow the other, but there is a greater risk both to the person and the marriage if growth is stifled.

There is absolutely no place in love for oppression, and restriction. To love someone is not to possess them.

Apply these same principles to your relationship with your children. Respect and trust your child for the individual person that he or she is. Drench them with love, guide them with a consistent but light hand, allowing them to make mistakes. They will anyway, and it is always easier for them if they can count on your love, understanding, and forgiveness. Love does not preclude other signifi cant relationships. One person cannot be expected to be everything to the other. A strong, loving relationship is not threatened by other relationships.

You can never say, “I love you” too often or too loud.