Monday, April 28, 2008


Dark Sky Oil pastel 14x10 $225

Last night as I revisited the folk music of the early 60s on You Tube, I was immediately transported back to my college years (1957-1961). I thought of myself then, as compared to now, and how the years have transformed my psyche. The phrase, the heaviness of years, came immediately to mind and has been with me ever since. And, as I am inclined to do, I began exploring this idea in my journal. My initial thoughts were how age effects our ambitions, aspirations, and willingness to take risks, along with other less than desirable effects: becoming stuck in our ways, afraid of change, fearful or suspicious of anything new, confusion about the evolving culture of youth, and the uncertainty of the extent of our future. How depressing!

But even as I was writing this bleak scenario of aging, which carries a modicum of truth, I realized it was only one side of the coin; there is an equally compelling argument to make for the benefit of age. The weight of the years is well balanced.

The uncertainty of the future. I have found the loss of the “some days” of my youth difficult to deal with. As a younger man I could always cling to the notion that someday my dreams would come true, my aspirations achieved. The future was limitless. Beginning some time in my mid 60s this changed, the future was narrowing and the “some days” began to diminish to a barely visible point. Disastrous? Perhaps, but there is another side to this coin. With a diminishing and unknown future, one is forced to focus on the present. For someone who tends to spend too much time thinking about the “tomorrows”, this is a positive step, with each birthday I move one year closer to learning to live in and appreciate my “todays” instead of relying on the “tomorrows”. In the end, it is the journey, and not the destination that matters.

to be continued...

1 comment:

Aynex Mercado said...

Right on Mr. B. Hopefully I'll learn that sooner than you.